The Importance of Intention in Relationships
“At the beginning of the pandemic, my classmates and I were sent home to complete our spring term in quarantine, like most other college students at the time. This announcement came suddenly, and I wasn’t able to say goodbye to most of my friends before leaving campus. Isolation was lonely, and the uncertainty of the Covid situation was stressful to say the least. During this time, I learned to be incredibly intentional with my relationships — I scheduled weekly calls and regular check-ins, creating reminders in my calendar to reach out to friends regularly. On campus, it had been so easy to run into friends and catch up or make plans to spend time together, but at home in isolation, creating structure to hold myself accountable for intentional relationship-building became critical for my mental and emotional well-being. By being intentional, I was able to deepen my relationships in meaningful and lasting ways that provided a sense of stability during an otherwise turbulent time.”
- Yumi Naruke, Connection Labs Manager of Communications & Sales Enablement
Intentionally building new relationships, or consciously strengthening existing ones, is something many of us don’t do frequently. We may ponder ways to expand or strengthen our relationships, but taking concrete steps to do so often eludes us. We have so much on our plates already, that putting the work into strengthening a relationship that’s already “good enough” can feel extraneous, or just too time-consuming. Well – as with many important aspects of our well-being – creating intention and purpose in our relationships has enormous upside. Research shows that increased social ties, or relationships, can quite literally add years to your life. But what about when we bring this intention to work? The upside expands.
Did you know?
A 2014 study found that employees working in a setting where they felt part of a loving, caring culture showed up to work more often, benefitted from higher levels of satisfaction and teamwork, and displayed higher levels of innovation, trust, and motivation.
A study focused on nurses found correlations between strong workplace relationships and turnover — with nurses benefitting from relationships being more likely to remain with their current employer, as well as showing higher levels of engagement.
The Gallup Management Journal further explores the connection between relationships and engagement, finding that 82% of engaged employees responded with a 4 or 5 (on a 1-5 scale where 5 is "Strongly Agree") when faced with the assertion that their organization "encourages close friendships at work." This compares to 53% of disengaged workers, and 17% of those that are “actively disengaged.”
Awareness, Context, Intention
Building Awareness: Consider the ways in which you approach your relationships at work. Do you allow the opportunity for them to flourish? Are you deliberate about getting to know your co-workers beyond their day to day responsibilities?
Considering Context: Does the nature of your job trend towards relationships that are transactional or more meaningful? Do your professional relationships differ between equals and subordinates? How about higher-ups? Consider why this might be, and the different tools you could use to strengthen them.
Creating Intention: Consider a relationship in your life at work that is still in its infancy stages. Determine one aspect of relationship building that you typically fall short on (eg. commiting to a one-on-one coffee or lunch? Sharing something appropriate with a subordinate that allows them to know you better?) and consciously take that step.
Tap into your strengths…
From our workshop, you might remember Brené Brown’s B.R.A.V.I.N.G. framework, a tool we believe is indispensable to strengthening relationships. Here are a few ways to use your VIA strengths to facilitate those behaviors:
Use bravery to establish and enforce Boundaries
Use perseverance to follow through and increase your Reliability
Use honesty and humility to take Accountability when you’re wrong
Use perspective to put yourself in another’s shoes and keep their personal information in your Vault
Use fairness to see the downsides of cutting corners, and instead follow the route of Integrity
Use love and forgiveness to listen with Nonjudgment
Use gratitude to recognize the Generosity of others