Hone Your Listening Skills
“I used to be a terrible listener. I might have heard what you said to me, sure, but my mind would already be skipping ahead to conclusions, solutions, and responses halfway through your first sentence. Just a few days ago, a friend started a conversation with me about countries he’d love to visit. Before he had finished illustrating why Thailand was his first choice, I tuned him out to instead consider my opinions, almost blurting out my thoughts before his explanation had even reached its conclusion. But, I caught myself, and instead brought myself back just in time to hear him comment on how he had heard the mangoes “were like no others.” Remembering our Connection 101 workshop session on communication, I paused before tapping into a curious mindset and listening with the intent to understand.”
- Nate Orluk, Connection Labs Intern
Humans generally listen at a 25% comprehension rate (1), a serious issue when you consider that 85% of what we know has been attained through listening, and 55% of a typical business day is spent listening (2). How can we hope to be effective if we are absorbing a mere 25% of that information? With offices continuing to reopen and conversations becoming more frequent, the time is ripe for us to work on our listening skills.
Did you know?
At Connection Labs, we subscribe to the idea that the quality of our lives is largely determined by the quality of our relationships, both personal and professional. And research supports the notion that strong listening skills can lead to stronger relationships. In 2003, Faye Doell published a study suggesting that those who listen to understand “have greater satisfaction in their interpersonal relationships than others.” (3)
For leaders, effective listening should be even more of a priority. Companies that have open outlets for employees to express themselves have better retention rates as a function of fewer do-overs, a faster work rate, and stronger interpersonal connections.
Awareness, context, intention
Building Awareness: How does your NOLS leadership style influence how you listen?
Considering Context: Are you a more effective listener at work or at home? How about with friends or family?
Creating Intention: What is one way you can work on becoming a better listener?
Tap into your strengths…
As you develop your listening practice, we encourage you to tap into your strengths throughout all stages of listening:
Use prudence before conversations and prepare yourself to actively listen
Use curiosity to ask questions
Leverage perseverance to pay attention to the answer
Access self-regulation to resist the urge to interrupt or formulate a response in your head
If you make a mistake, use forgiveness
When you come back and try again, lead with hope and bravery
Also interesting to note is that when we listen well, we can help others tap into their strengths. As a 2018 study showed, “the listening behavior of superiors may positively impact employees to explore new ideas flexibly, leading to higher levels of creativity.”